Attacked by an Owl

Ever wondered what it would be like to be attacked by an owl?
Wonder no more...

Pizza Roulette

I love hot sauce and spicy things...But the stakes might me a little too high for me on this one...

What happens is they put the hottest pepper in the world, on ONE slice of your pizza-pie...
That might be worse than Russian Roulette because I'll bet that hurts less...Granted you are then dead, so it might be a bit a of a wash...

Funny Superbad Table Read

Superbad is a great movie, I've watched it numerous times and STILL find it entertaining.

Also, very entertaining is a somewhat monotone table read from the characters.

The Word of the Day is "Cute"

Sometimes you've just got to drop any and all macho-ness and check out some freakin' cute animals!

First, proof that pigs can fly...



Bet he can't wait until mom becomes bacon...

Up next a two part video, part 1 is Goats in Sweaters Jumping



Part 2 is kind of the same...



Why are they wearing sweaters? Solely to bump up their cuteness levels I'm sure.
Damn that was cute...

New Pennywise

Something a lot of us have been waiting for...

Pennywise will be releasing a new album "All or Nothing" May 1st!

This will be their first album with the former Ignite front man, and also first without previous singer Jim Lindberg (who has since formed The Black Pacific, which is weird because it seemed like the whole reason Jim quit was to be with his family, then apparently he joined this other band just a few days after quitting Pennywise. And if he still wanted to be in a band and spend time with family, Pennywise would be a better option because its built up the following that they can take more time off. Also as a new band you have to hit the bricks hard, which takes up a lot more time...But, what do I know?)

Anyways, I've been very interested in hearing this "new" Pennywise.

Well, here it is...



Its a good song, but it sounds more like Ignite, than Pennywise...But that's just me. Its hard not to considering how distinct the vocalist's voice is.

What do you think? Comment below!

What Would Happen if You Dropped a Nuke on Your Town?

Ever wanted to see how much devastation would be incurred if someone dropped a nuke on your town?

Now you can find out...

I decided to "drop" a 340 kiloton bomb (which is currently in the US arsenal) on Owen Sound, Ontario, Canada. (I just wanted to know how far I'd have to get away in case a bomb does get dropped, turns out, its not that far...For this bomb)

Check it out for yourself HERE and maybe drop a bomb on New York, London, or recreate Hiroshima.

Control This Game With Your Mind!

It kind of started with the Nintendo Wii, then Playstation jumped on board and then Xbox nailed it with Kinect, I'm talking about motion controlled gaming.

Well things have taken a bit of a leap forward apparently with the introduction of a thing called Mind Flex.

The basic premise being you use that dorky looking head set to control the speed/power of the fan and levitates a ball.

You can play it by yourself and go through an obstacle course of hoops and stuff or get a friend and see who is the better mind controller with the duel version (personally this is the one I want to try!)

Check out more, and see a video of the game HERE

A Great Idea

What good thing have you done lately? Hold the door for someone? Donate to charity? Not killed your boss (though they probably deserve it)?

Well that's all well and good, but it pales in comparison to what this guy has done...

Ben Porter is his name, and helping kids isn't just his game, its become his life. Ben is 21 and has postponed his studies in order to spearhead Loud Artwork, which is an online program that allows students to express themselves and cope with stressful situations through drawings and words.

Porter hopes to eventually expand to schools province wide, but until then, the program will be piloted at Queen Victoria elementary school in Corktown later this month.

"Since the pictures are submitted by grade level rather than name, those who are shy or scared are also more willing to open up." Porter said

The idea is that kids can draw out, or express their problems or grievances in a safe way. But, besides just being able to get that off their chest, it also (hopefully) will continue to open the eyes of parents and teachers to some of the things going on in the child's life.

Learn more by checking out this article.

Once, you've read that, and you kind of understand what this program is all about, check out the website Loud Artwork and see some of the drawings that have been submitted, get more information, follow him on Twitter and more.

Check it out, and pass it on...Especially, if you or someone you know is a teacher, because I really think the best place for a program like this is in schools. Teachers don't always know what's going on at home, and parents don't always know what's going on at school.

The REAL Doggy Heaven

Never mind that crappy Disney Dog Heaven...This is where all dogs want to go...

Are You Kidding Me?

There are certainly hundreds, if not thousands of insane things people do that are supposedly good for you...
Like running, paying taxes or eating vegetables...

But THIS is beyond insane!
Baby Yoga?!?!
Why the hell does a baby need yoga? Those pudgy little sacks of flesh can already put their whole foot in their mouth, how much more flexible does a person need to be? Do you need to be able to bend around to shove your head up your own ass? (Actually, plenty of people wander around like that daily...)



Isn't yoga supposed to be relaxing? This doesn't look even remotely relaxing for the babies...
Also, if someone walked by a house and saw a parent doing these things to their child, I'll bet dollars to donuts you could call Child Services on them...
Fuckin' hippies...

You Can't Un-See This...

Whatever you previously thought the funniest and weirdest thing you've ever seen was...You're wrong...

This, is the funniest and weirdest thing ever...Especially the end.

This is Why People Hate the Police

I'm going to start this off by saying I KNOW there are good cops out there, I know a couple of them personally. However, like everything else, the bad ones ruin it for everyone...

This boggles my mind and pisses me off to no end. Maybe its the "power" that some of these officers have, that let's them think they are allowed to just be a dick to any and everyone.
On the flip side though, police officers DO deal with a lot of assholes on a daily basis, so it could be somewhat excusable for them to think that everyone is probably guilty...However, not saying that's right...

Something that doesn't help the police's case though is that the Sargent says, when talking about the complaint filed against these officers: "I can tell you we take them seriously, but people have to believe that. People have to trust the system, they have to trust the process."

I'm sorry, but who would trust a system that plays out like this?

Also, the fact that a bunch of the dash-cam tapes are "missing" doesn't instil a large amount of trust in "the process"

Best line in the video is probably exactly why these two got arrested
"they were guilty of being black, in Seattle"



What do you think? Should these officers have been let go? Or, at the very least given a suspension without pay?
Comment below...

Dope Zebra

All I can say is...

You have Joe to thank (or hate) for this...



Isn't that the zebra from Madagascar? I though Chris Rock was him? Who knew it was an old white dude...Maybe Chris Rock IS an old white dude...

Finland's Hottest New Sport

Well its Finland so maybe "hottest" isn't the right word...Coolest?

Its lawn mower racing...On ice! But unlike Disney on Ice, this isn't for lame figure skaters, this is for men from all over to come, and put their mower where their mouth is...

Its not even a race to see who finishes first...Its who can complete the most laps in THREE HOURS!
Three hours of sliding around an ice course on a lawn mower...Sign me the fuck up!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (With Kids)

Monty Python and the Holy Grail is by far, my favourite Monty Python movie.

Like most Python nerds, I can (and do) quote the entire movie and one of my favourite scenes (like a lot of people) is the scene with the Black Knight.

My friend Rye and I used to act it out in my parent's backyard, with a rake handle as a sword. (Rye was a good Black Knight, excellent death scenes)

So when I came across this, I had to at least check it out. I was initially laughing at it, then I though to myself "they're kind of ruining it" then I re-realized it was a bunch of kids who are doing this, they don't give half a brown crayon (thanks Barney Stinson) who Monty Python is and they have no idea the importance of them.

So check it out, and laugh...

Hatemail

I do this thing, from time to time, and I think you should check it out...Its pretty sweet...

Letters From and Angry Man

or

Hatemail if you would prefer

This one is to People Who Have Those "Out of a Job Yet? Keep Buying Foreign" Stickers

You can also check out my previous letters HERE its gonna be a good time, I promise...

This Guy Seems Upset About Something...

And some people think I'm an angry man...

This guy goes on a pretty epic rant, and clearly has no issues about using "colourful" language, but you've got respect him fro substituting "forget" for the F-bomb.

I wonder if he thought of all of these adjectives and descriptions himself, or maybe he still carries a thesaurus...

Understanding Gang Signs

So glad we have this helpful chart to allow us to understand what those people in the low riders are saying...

I Need One of These Right Now!

What!?!?!
Where the hell can I get these?
And can I get them right, freakin' now?!?!?!

I've drooled all over my keyboard, not the 'm' key is stuck, which is fitting as it mimics the noise I'm currently making...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

What the...?

I'm sure I haven't even come near to the deepest, darkest corners of the inter-webs...

But this has to be pretty damn close...

In all fairness to this song, cats are evil

Here it is, a song by Bubblegum Octopus, "You're a Bad Cat Man"



How about a little more from the band...This song is called "Spiders on my Toes"



And here's one called "Candy Store Looting Party"

Banana Floyd

I don't know about you, but when I hear Pink Floyd, I think..."Bananas"

Cat Soap Opera

This may be my new favourite video...

Cats, mobsters, and a litter box full of soap opera plot twists gives you...

Gatonovela!

I Can't Believe They Call Golf a "Gentlmen's Game"

My favourite part of golf is the drinking beer and driving the golf cart (I love getting that sum-a-bitch up on two wheels).

But, after watching a large number of golf fails (which can be seen HERE) I've come to realize that the funniest part about golf isn't the ridiculous clothes...

Check some good ones out.


I also enjoy this guy, who maybe had a few too many before hitting the links...

What is This Man Doing?

I'm not sure why this guy seems so happy...Doesn't appear to have a whole lot going for him, as he is a fat man, dancing around in a Speedo, to crazy Japanese techno...But he's a happy mofo

Starfish Does Not Approve of Duck in a Cup

Sometimes you just need to sit back, put up your feet and enjoy...

A duck in a cup...

...Unless you're the Sassy Starfish and do not approve...

Hardcore Logo 2

Sweet mother of carp...Yes carp...

There's a new Hard fuckin' Core Logo movie coming out!

The original was a mockumentary about a band called Hard Core Logo, which featured a guitarist named Billy Talent (yup, that's where the current Billy Talent band got the name) and a lead singer, played by Hugh Dillon, named in the flick Joe Dick.

The original Hard Core Logo is not only frequently ranked amongst the greatest movies ever to come out of Canada, but in the final scene Joe Dick blows his brains out.

So how they hell do you make a second one?

You find some rocker chick to be possessed by your punk rock soul.

Check out the trailer HERE

I'm fucking pumped!

Turtle VS 3 Cats

Maybe this turtle is a ninja...He's clearly not mutant, and I'm unable to determine age, he could be teenage or middle aged.



Non-mutant middle aged ninja turtle

This Guy Has Some High Profile Friends...

I wish I was this good at photoshop...

I want to pretend that I have celebrity friends who randomly pop up at my parties.

You can see a few others HERE

Batman's Night Out

This have been floating around for a week or so, popping up on different blogs so I figured I'd watch the whole thing and thought it was funny.
Also, a bonus that this happened in Toronto (I even kind of recognized one or two of the locations)

Batman goes out on the town...

My favourite part is about at the 2:30 mark when he can't open the beef jerky...Batman can solve so many crimes, but can't get a stick of jerky open...

Seems Legit...

Runny noses could possibly be one of the more annoying afflictions.
Ever wonder WHY you get a runny nose?

Here it is explained...

Pun Hunter

Puns can be annoying as hell, but usually they are just good enough to make you smile and groan at the same time.

I give you...Pun Hunting

This is Why Neil Patrick Harris is Awesome

Who else could look this awesome while in a toga, fending off a horde of ninjas
I would've soiled my toga...

A Blue Oyster Cult for the New Age

In my never ending quest to find new and awesomely bitchin' wicked ass bands...

I found Ghost

Ghost is a melodic heavy metal band from Stockholm, Sweden. In 2010 they released a 3-track demo, followed by the single "Elizabeth", and eventually their debut full length album Opus Eponymous which came out in October of 2010.

Not only did I find that they have great music, they have their own sort of gimmick as Ghost is easily recognizable due to their eccentric on-stage presence (five of the group's six members wear dark hooded robes, while the vocalist appears in a skull mask and a cardinal outfit), heavily satanic-based lyrics, and highly secretive nature of their identities, with the members being referred to as "Nameless Ghouls".

They've been compared to groups like Black Sabbath, Blue Öyster Cult, Mercyful Fate, bands along those lines.
Now, being a big time Blue Oyster Cult fan (Some Enchanted Evening is not only, in my opinion, the best live album, but also perhaps my favourite album in total) I decided I'd give these guys a whirl...And they did not disappoint!





There's a couple of tunes from their Opus Eponymous album (which I just got and am enjoying).
The Blue Oyster Cult comparison I think really fits, after listening to their album. Its basically a harder version of BOC.
Even their symbols kind of look the same...
Blue Oyster Cult:

Ghost (on his hat):

Ghost gets the, much coveted, Kyle Seal of Approval!

Hardcore Alphabet

Start singing the ABC song (not the Jackson 5 version, that is as easy as 1,2,3).
Pretty wussy right? Especially ending it with "next time won't you sing with me"

Lame

Well, looks like the alphabet has taken a page out of the Spinal Tap book and cranked it up to 11.
Just look at the letter A

The letter F

How about an H

Or the letter O

Check the WHOLE Badass Alphabet out HERE

Some Roll Up the Rim Facts

It is that time of year for Canadians...

Rrrrrrrrroll up the rrrrim!

Sorry, my hand had a tiny seizure there...

I meant to say its Roll up the Rim time from Tim Hortons.

Everybody has their own belief on "strategy" to win the big prize.
I personally go with the large (or I guess what is now the medium size) as it was (maybe still is) the most popular size. But, then sometimes I'd go for an XL coffee because I figured they would distribute winning cups throughout the sizes and thinking less people would buy XL coffees, so maybe I'd have a better chance of winning then.

Maybe those ideas won't work but I have found some interesting things about Roll up the Rim, such as:

As one of the country's longest-running promotions, Roll Up the Rim has handed out some 387 million prizes since its launch.
(And only about 20 of those landed in my hands, and they were all coffees, donuts or cookies)

According to a study commissioned by Tim Hortons, only 56 per cent of Canadians can roll their r's like the Timmies commercials show. Only one in five can hold a rolled 'r' for more than 15 seconds, and men appear to be better at it than women.
(I can hold it for WAY longer than 15...Suck it average people!)

If you live on Prince Edward Island, your chances of winning a Roll Up The Rim prize are considerably better than if you live in Ontario. That's because Tim Hortons spreads prizes across the country according to geography, not population density. "If it was all equalized, some places like P.E.I. or New Brunswick might not get one at all," a Timmies rep said.
(I think I should move to PEI for the remainder of the contest...Better odds)

Check out more Roll up the Rim facts HERE

David Grohl Teaches You to Write a Pop Song

I've always loved Dave Grohl, he was a member of a hugely influential band that had its main member kill himself and instead of turning away from music he created another hugely influential band (and perhaps the last real rock band in this day and age) the Foo Fighters.

And now, he teaches Kyle Gas (from Tenacious D) and us how to write our very own pop songs.

Get Your Government Out of my Computer

Recently, there have been a number of internet privacy concerns for both the USA and Canada. It sort of started with SOPA and PIPA in the US, but as usual, Canada for some reason decided to follow suit with its slower, angrier older brother to the south.

In recent weeks a number of online petitions have popped up to stop the Canadian online spying bill (a big one is Open Media.ca, check them out and LIKE them on Facebook to get updates). And I wanted to make sure I tried, in any way that I could, to get more awareness about this issue. As Canadians we sometimes just accept things, even if we don't like them, but just deal with it rather than stand up and fight.

This is something we HAVE to fight!

I could sit here and explain it all, but why would I do that when I can let Rick Mercer explain it, in a way only Rick can...



Here's the problem...
20 years ago, the government we have worked alright. However, its not 20 years ago, its 2012 and technology has advanced in leaps and bounds...The government hasn't. The government is full of old men and women so out of touch with the youth, technology and the general consensus that they make Pee Wee Herman look like Captain Smooth.

Hey government...Stick to finding ways to improve education, health care and increase jobs while decreasing poverty...Do something good and worthwhile with your time in office, or I just might throw my computer at your face.

We Are All Sexist Pigs

I came across this picture and laughed...Then I furrowed my brow because this reminded me of a thought I've had numerous times. Women can be just as (if not more) sexist than men.

Yup, sounds a little stupid (and even sexist on my part) but its not, I 100% believe in equal rights and as such I think men and women should be treated the same. Women should have ALWAYS had the right to vote, own land or even wear slacks. However, women should then pay the same price in insurance, be expected to own and know how to use tools and open their own pickle jars.

One of the big ones to me is that if some guy was being an ass to me and I slugged him, no problem (well relatively speaking). But, if I encountered a female who was being a complete and utter bitch, for no reason, pushing me and yelling at me and I were to pop her upside her (probably) spray tanned face...That would be a social faux pa...

Basically, what I am saying is that sure, there can be stereotypes such as men being disgusting and women being overly chatty, but if people want true equality between the sexes...We've still got a ways to go...

You Know You're a Kid of the 90's When...

I was a child of the 90's, (despite my body aching like that of a 90 year old) and the other day I found myself thinking about some of the toys I used to enjoy. This came up after seeing a few of today's kids playthings.

Kids today have toys like these sluts...




And whatever the fuck a Fijit is...



Crap, just plain crap (and teaching pre-teens horrible lessons in what is acceptable fashion to wear...I'm looking at you Bratz).

So thinking back I thought over MY favourite toys. Things like Creepy Crawler Makers



Nerf footballs



Captain Planet cartoons and action figures (my brother had one that got dirty and turned brown when you got him wet)



You watched Home Alone and wanted a Talk Boy



But since it was cheaper, chances are your parents got you a Yak Bak



What were some of YOUR favourite toys from the 90's?