Hatemail

I do this thing, from time to time, and I think you should check it out...Its pretty sweet...

Letters From and Angry Man

or

Hatemail if you would prefer

This one is to People Who Have Those "Out of a Job Yet? Keep Buying Foreign" Stickers

You can also check out my previous letters HERE its gonna be a good time, I promise...

This Guy Seems Upset About Something...

And some people think I'm an angry man...

This guy goes on a pretty epic rant, and clearly has no issues about using "colourful" language, but you've got respect him fro substituting "forget" for the F-bomb.

I wonder if he thought of all of these adjectives and descriptions himself, or maybe he still carries a thesaurus...

Understanding Gang Signs

So glad we have this helpful chart to allow us to understand what those people in the low riders are saying...

I Need One of These Right Now!

What!?!?!
Where the hell can I get these?
And can I get them right, freakin' now?!?!?!

I've drooled all over my keyboard, not the 'm' key is stuck, which is fitting as it mimics the noise I'm currently making...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

What the...?

I'm sure I haven't even come near to the deepest, darkest corners of the inter-webs...

But this has to be pretty damn close...

In all fairness to this song, cats are evil

Here it is, a song by Bubblegum Octopus, "You're a Bad Cat Man"



How about a little more from the band...This song is called "Spiders on my Toes"



And here's one called "Candy Store Looting Party"

Banana Floyd

I don't know about you, but when I hear Pink Floyd, I think..."Bananas"

Cat Soap Opera

This may be my new favourite video...

Cats, mobsters, and a litter box full of soap opera plot twists gives you...

Gatonovela!

I Can't Believe They Call Golf a "Gentlmen's Game"

My favourite part of golf is the drinking beer and driving the golf cart (I love getting that sum-a-bitch up on two wheels).

But, after watching a large number of golf fails (which can be seen HERE) I've come to realize that the funniest part about golf isn't the ridiculous clothes...

Check some good ones out.


I also enjoy this guy, who maybe had a few too many before hitting the links...

What is This Man Doing?

I'm not sure why this guy seems so happy...Doesn't appear to have a whole lot going for him, as he is a fat man, dancing around in a Speedo, to crazy Japanese techno...But he's a happy mofo

Starfish Does Not Approve of Duck in a Cup

Sometimes you just need to sit back, put up your feet and enjoy...

A duck in a cup...

...Unless you're the Sassy Starfish and do not approve...

Hardcore Logo 2

Sweet mother of carp...Yes carp...

There's a new Hard fuckin' Core Logo movie coming out!

The original was a mockumentary about a band called Hard Core Logo, which featured a guitarist named Billy Talent (yup, that's where the current Billy Talent band got the name) and a lead singer, played by Hugh Dillon, named in the flick Joe Dick.

The original Hard Core Logo is not only frequently ranked amongst the greatest movies ever to come out of Canada, but in the final scene Joe Dick blows his brains out.

So how they hell do you make a second one?

You find some rocker chick to be possessed by your punk rock soul.

Check out the trailer HERE

I'm fucking pumped!

Turtle VS 3 Cats

Maybe this turtle is a ninja...He's clearly not mutant, and I'm unable to determine age, he could be teenage or middle aged.



Non-mutant middle aged ninja turtle

This Guy Has Some High Profile Friends...

I wish I was this good at photoshop...

I want to pretend that I have celebrity friends who randomly pop up at my parties.

You can see a few others HERE

Batman's Night Out

This have been floating around for a week or so, popping up on different blogs so I figured I'd watch the whole thing and thought it was funny.
Also, a bonus that this happened in Toronto (I even kind of recognized one or two of the locations)

Batman goes out on the town...

My favourite part is about at the 2:30 mark when he can't open the beef jerky...Batman can solve so many crimes, but can't get a stick of jerky open...

Seems Legit...

Runny noses could possibly be one of the more annoying afflictions.
Ever wonder WHY you get a runny nose?

Here it is explained...

Pun Hunter

Puns can be annoying as hell, but usually they are just good enough to make you smile and groan at the same time.

I give you...Pun Hunting

This is Why Neil Patrick Harris is Awesome

Who else could look this awesome while in a toga, fending off a horde of ninjas
I would've soiled my toga...

A Blue Oyster Cult for the New Age

In my never ending quest to find new and awesomely bitchin' wicked ass bands...

I found Ghost

Ghost is a melodic heavy metal band from Stockholm, Sweden. In 2010 they released a 3-track demo, followed by the single "Elizabeth", and eventually their debut full length album Opus Eponymous which came out in October of 2010.

Not only did I find that they have great music, they have their own sort of gimmick as Ghost is easily recognizable due to their eccentric on-stage presence (five of the group's six members wear dark hooded robes, while the vocalist appears in a skull mask and a cardinal outfit), heavily satanic-based lyrics, and highly secretive nature of their identities, with the members being referred to as "Nameless Ghouls".

They've been compared to groups like Black Sabbath, Blue Öyster Cult, Mercyful Fate, bands along those lines.
Now, being a big time Blue Oyster Cult fan (Some Enchanted Evening is not only, in my opinion, the best live album, but also perhaps my favourite album in total) I decided I'd give these guys a whirl...And they did not disappoint!





There's a couple of tunes from their Opus Eponymous album (which I just got and am enjoying).
The Blue Oyster Cult comparison I think really fits, after listening to their album. Its basically a harder version of BOC.
Even their symbols kind of look the same...
Blue Oyster Cult:

Ghost (on his hat):

Ghost gets the, much coveted, Kyle Seal of Approval!

Hardcore Alphabet

Start singing the ABC song (not the Jackson 5 version, that is as easy as 1,2,3).
Pretty wussy right? Especially ending it with "next time won't you sing with me"

Lame

Well, looks like the alphabet has taken a page out of the Spinal Tap book and cranked it up to 11.
Just look at the letter A

The letter F

How about an H

Or the letter O

Check the WHOLE Badass Alphabet out HERE

Some Roll Up the Rim Facts

It is that time of year for Canadians...

Rrrrrrrrroll up the rrrrim!

Sorry, my hand had a tiny seizure there...

I meant to say its Roll up the Rim time from Tim Hortons.

Everybody has their own belief on "strategy" to win the big prize.
I personally go with the large (or I guess what is now the medium size) as it was (maybe still is) the most popular size. But, then sometimes I'd go for an XL coffee because I figured they would distribute winning cups throughout the sizes and thinking less people would buy XL coffees, so maybe I'd have a better chance of winning then.

Maybe those ideas won't work but I have found some interesting things about Roll up the Rim, such as:

As one of the country's longest-running promotions, Roll Up the Rim has handed out some 387 million prizes since its launch.
(And only about 20 of those landed in my hands, and they were all coffees, donuts or cookies)

According to a study commissioned by Tim Hortons, only 56 per cent of Canadians can roll their r's like the Timmies commercials show. Only one in five can hold a rolled 'r' for more than 15 seconds, and men appear to be better at it than women.
(I can hold it for WAY longer than 15...Suck it average people!)

If you live on Prince Edward Island, your chances of winning a Roll Up The Rim prize are considerably better than if you live in Ontario. That's because Tim Hortons spreads prizes across the country according to geography, not population density. "If it was all equalized, some places like P.E.I. or New Brunswick might not get one at all," a Timmies rep said.
(I think I should move to PEI for the remainder of the contest...Better odds)

Check out more Roll up the Rim facts HERE

David Grohl Teaches You to Write a Pop Song

I've always loved Dave Grohl, he was a member of a hugely influential band that had its main member kill himself and instead of turning away from music he created another hugely influential band (and perhaps the last real rock band in this day and age) the Foo Fighters.

And now, he teaches Kyle Gas (from Tenacious D) and us how to write our very own pop songs.

Get Your Government Out of my Computer

Recently, there have been a number of internet privacy concerns for both the USA and Canada. It sort of started with SOPA and PIPA in the US, but as usual, Canada for some reason decided to follow suit with its slower, angrier older brother to the south.

In recent weeks a number of online petitions have popped up to stop the Canadian online spying bill (a big one is Open Media.ca, check them out and LIKE them on Facebook to get updates). And I wanted to make sure I tried, in any way that I could, to get more awareness about this issue. As Canadians we sometimes just accept things, even if we don't like them, but just deal with it rather than stand up and fight.

This is something we HAVE to fight!

I could sit here and explain it all, but why would I do that when I can let Rick Mercer explain it, in a way only Rick can...



Here's the problem...
20 years ago, the government we have worked alright. However, its not 20 years ago, its 2012 and technology has advanced in leaps and bounds...The government hasn't. The government is full of old men and women so out of touch with the youth, technology and the general consensus that they make Pee Wee Herman look like Captain Smooth.

Hey government...Stick to finding ways to improve education, health care and increase jobs while decreasing poverty...Do something good and worthwhile with your time in office, or I just might throw my computer at your face.

We Are All Sexist Pigs

I came across this picture and laughed...Then I furrowed my brow because this reminded me of a thought I've had numerous times. Women can be just as (if not more) sexist than men.

Yup, sounds a little stupid (and even sexist on my part) but its not, I 100% believe in equal rights and as such I think men and women should be treated the same. Women should have ALWAYS had the right to vote, own land or even wear slacks. However, women should then pay the same price in insurance, be expected to own and know how to use tools and open their own pickle jars.

One of the big ones to me is that if some guy was being an ass to me and I slugged him, no problem (well relatively speaking). But, if I encountered a female who was being a complete and utter bitch, for no reason, pushing me and yelling at me and I were to pop her upside her (probably) spray tanned face...That would be a social faux pa...

Basically, what I am saying is that sure, there can be stereotypes such as men being disgusting and women being overly chatty, but if people want true equality between the sexes...We've still got a ways to go...

You Know You're a Kid of the 90's When...

I was a child of the 90's, (despite my body aching like that of a 90 year old) and the other day I found myself thinking about some of the toys I used to enjoy. This came up after seeing a few of today's kids playthings.

Kids today have toys like these sluts...




And whatever the fuck a Fijit is...



Crap, just plain crap (and teaching pre-teens horrible lessons in what is acceptable fashion to wear...I'm looking at you Bratz).

So thinking back I thought over MY favourite toys. Things like Creepy Crawler Makers



Nerf footballs



Captain Planet cartoons and action figures (my brother had one that got dirty and turned brown when you got him wet)



You watched Home Alone and wanted a Talk Boy



But since it was cheaper, chances are your parents got you a Yak Bak



What were some of YOUR favourite toys from the 90's?

Maybe Not Everyone Should Have a Webcam...

There are countless idiotic videos sprinkled through the inter-webs, and usually you'll see them because somehow they go viral and the world comes together to enjoy (surprise kitten) or hate, (as in the case of Rebecca Black) a certain video.

This one hasn't gone uber-viral yet (sitting at about 58,000 when I checked), but I'm hoping to help it along because I think its funnier than a lot of videos that have gone viral before.

I used to watch a little Dragon Ball Z when I was younger...



I'm not ashamed to admit it (actually I found it on Netflix and may watch it again). I'm also not ashamed to admit I would imagine myself with their kick-ass kung-fu skills...Much like many people do after taking in a Bruce Lee flick.



I however, would never share my imagined skills with anyone, and certainly would never film it and then post it online...This guy is not me (and not just because he's black, and I am basically clear)

This kid goes Super Saiyan


This is how Goku goes Super Saiyan (AKA what that kid was trying to emulate) Start at the 1:10 mark

Pancake Tuesday

Its pancake Tuesday bitches!

And like everything in life...Bacon is here to make it even better! (And another great pancake idea)

First though, a little background on Pancake Tuesday, why to we celebrate such a holy day?

In Canada, the United Kingdom, Ireland, New Zealand, and Australia, pancakes are traditionally eaten on Shrove Tuesday, which is also known as "Pancake Day" and, particularly in Ireland, as "Pancake Tuesday". (Shrove Tuesday is better known in the United States, France and other countries as Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday.) Historically, pancakes were made on Shrove Tuesday so that the last of the fatty and rich foods could be used up before Lent. (As most people would give up delicious foods for Lent...I wonder if murders spike during Lent...?)

So there you have it, a perfectly good excuse to enjoy some pancakes (and if you want to go along with Fat Tuesday, a perfectly good reason to make yourself some fatty-ass foods to give you a fatty-ass).

Well let's get to it...
First we have Bacon Pancakes:



- Cook up the bacon a bit (not too crispy as you'll be cooking it more)
- Make your pancake batter while the bacon sizzles
- Pour out a line of batter like cooking a normal pancake
- But, before you flip, lay a piece of bacon into the batter side, letting it sink down a bit
- Flip the pancake and cook the other side
- Enjoy!

Next, we've got Cinnamon Pancakes:



- Mix up you pancake batter
- Mix up some brown sugar, butter and cinnamon (I could give you measurements, but who measures things when they cook? Terrorists...That's who!)
- Microwave your cinnamon, brown sugar mix (so its sort of liquid-ish)
- Pour your pancake batter into pan (like normal)
- Pour your cinnamon mix (in a spiral to make it fancy)
- Flip pancake to cook other side
- Top with icing (icing sugar and milk works good...Also good with syrup)
- Enjoy!

I've eaten the Cinnamon Pancakes and they are freakin' yummy! And I will be enjoying the Bacon Pancakes tonight for Pancake Tuesday!

P.S. Don't over estimate the deliciousness of chocolate chip pancakes
-

Can You Give Up Giving Up?

Today marks the beginning of Lent...

Don't worry I don't really know what it is either, fortunately we have Wikipedia.

"Lent is the Christian observance of the liturgical year from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday."

Why is Ash Wednesday on a Tuesday?



Continued from Wikipedia: "The traditional purpose of Lent is the penitential preparation of the believer—through prayer, penance, repentance, almsgiving, and self-denial"

Sounds about as fun as a colonoscopy with a pineapple...

But since a lot of people today are "high holiday religious" they don't do it for the original reasons, they just give something up to make themselves think they are still upholding their religious beliefs.

Now, myself not being a religious man, I have questions about what you can and cannot give up for Lent.

For example, can I give up giving things up?
Maybe I could give up work (without giving up getting paid, and they'd have to go along with it because its my religious right)?
Are you allowed to give up adhering to the law?
I'd like to give up NOT drinking beer every day...

Like many things to do with religion, there's a few loop-holes...

But, if you HAD to give up something for 46 days...What would it be?

Okay, This is Embarrassing...

We all have things we think would be embarrassing...

Getting caught dancing around like an idiot when you think no one is watching.



Having someone you're trying to impress find an embarrassing CD in your collection.



Someone finding out you support Sarah Palin.



These things could all be incredibly embarrassing (and the last one should be punishable by death). But, that being said, I'd like to find out what some of the things that would embarrass you would be...

So let's have it!

What would YOU consider to be embarrassing?
Comment below or on the Facebook link you probably clicked to get here...

Get Mad, You Son of a Bitch

I am routinely called an “angry man,” and with good reason usually because at any time there is a great chance that I am in fact angry about something. Sometimes, it’s that others AREN’T angry.



Opposite of angry, to me, isn’t happy…The opposite of angry to me is complacent.
Why do I believe this? Well, it’s because you would have to be complacent to not be angry, just going with the flow, doing whatever you are told, not questioning anything. You can however, be happy and still be angry. You can have a great life, good family and friends, a nice job but still be pissed off that children around the world are dying, wars are breaking out over things like oil and Kardashian is a name you know…These are all perfectly good examples of things society deems acceptable to be angry about.

The problem then is…What do you do about it? Let’s be honest, no one person is going to stop any of those things (even killing the Kardashians, we’d still know who they are and they’d probably become even more famous). One person can feel like they are about as useful as a grapefruit in a gun fight.

In my mind, you have to start small…

Stop all the little things in our daily life that piss us off, and then once we’ve fixed those; we’ll have no choice but to fix the bigger problems.

Where I’m going with this, is attempting to fix things like:

People who don’t use their car blinkers
People who carry on personal conversations with fellow employees while serving customers
People who leave time on the microwave (great it’s 0:02 o’clock…)
People who take up the whole sidewalk so you can walk past, then walk slow
People who drive less than the speed limit



Those are just things off the top of my head, I’m sure if I took the time, I could come up with a list of thousands of things that we encounter in our daily lives that make us want to punch a rainbow.

This is why I tend to be angrier than your average bear because these things SHOULDN’T happen! Basic things that we’ve all encountered (and probably have done at some point too) that should not be a part of our lives.

So my idea is this…

Let’s make all these things obsolete…Let’s make it so we never have to waste our time or energy on some moron who leaves their dirty dishes in the workplace sink.